Monday, July 31, 2017

#531 Cancer Fatigue--A Physical and Mental Syndrome


A major distraction!

Fatigue.  It the kind of tired that "stops in your tracks cause I can't go anymore" feeling unlike any other lethargy I've ever experienced--until PCD (post cancer diagnosis)

This syndrome has been delivered via the medication that is prolonging my life.  I'm not complaining, well, yes I am; but when it strikes, collapsing in a nearby bed is the only option until I can return to my "normal" way of living.  As the Brits would say, "carry on" and I do with a grudge against this malady I must frequently endure.

Which brings up another type of fatigue I am experiencing.  Cancer fatigue.  After five years of living with this disease, I am tired of it being forefront not only in my body but also in my mind.  My initial diagnosis was a year of hell with chemo, radiation and surgery and the constant side effects.  The next year was a recovery year where every day I felt my body being restored until twenty months later I was slammed with a metastatic diagnosis.

It has now been five and a half years of a thinking breathing living cancer existence and I am fatigued by it all.  Not only is it physically wearing but the mental part is completely exhausting and distractions do not always trim those thoughts from this overactive brain.

When I do manage a reprieve from...OMG, I HAVE CANCER... I cherish those moments until they creep back into the corners of the brain mass triggering a double whammy of...OMG, I HAVE CANCER...and then it begins again.  

I have learned the best way to counteract that state of almost no return, surprisingly enough, is to keep advocating. Unfortunately it is a double edged sword--think about cancer and brainstorm ways to raise money; or not think about cancer and banish those ever present thoughts from my mind ( or will they still linger taunting me more?).  I choose to face this *&%^%$ head on--my way--and it does help.  It gives me hope that there will be a breakthrough and our fundraising and screaming efforts are getting the message out.

As my astute husband constantly reminds me, "Ride the horse in the direction it is going", so I will get up on my stead and ride until our researchers are confident they can declare metastatic cancers chronic and not a death sentence.  It is what I can do to remember Heather, Maggie, Beth, Shannon, Mandi and on and on--all champions of the cause.

Fatigue--bring it on--nothing like a cat nap and Bam! once again I am ready to rally.

Of course I can not conclude this blog without an appeal to donate to our superhero researchers at UW Carbone Cancer Center.

Thanks for reading #531 of 7777.




2 comments:

  1. Hold your beautiful and loving family in your mind at all times. And cherish the days you've had, bringing energy and inspiration to so many. Your support network is visibly and invisibly with you as you move through this world. Thanks for including us. We are each struggling with something and your approach encourages others to try.

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