# 56 Dilemma in the Dress Department

Reminiscing today about an event that, if it hadn’t actually happened to yours truly, wouldn’t believe it even if it was on the internet.  Let the story begin.

A couple of years ago, my husband and I were invited to a very fancy smancy wedding in a major city in Michigan-- black tie, la di da affair.   This was cause for severe angst on my part because “formal evening wear required” are not phrases in my slightly unsophisticated vocabulary nor in my REI/Eddie Bauer laden closet.

Gearing up for this adventure, I took two highly qualified styling friends (honest as the day is long) to a consignment shop to find an inexpensive, dazzling knock it out of the park kind of gown. After trying on racks full of lovely little numbers, I found one that was Visa card friendly, thin enhancing and black tie worthy. I’ll admit I felt fabulous in it, however, no amount of confidence could hide the underlying apprehension floating around the dress and me wearing it in this—out of my comfort zone—situation.  

Fast forward to the gala affair where Rob and I sat in the temple parking lot (feeling like creepy fashion stalkers) scoping out the dresses of the other women arriving at the wedding site. Suddenly, Bingo!  I did it!  I hit the proverbial nail on the head for evening attire as women arrived prancing into the venue looking just as fabulous as I felt in my long flowing attire. My dress phobic anxieties drifted away as I gracefully stepped out of the car feeling like a million bucks.

Imagine my horror (the word doesn’t do justice to the stomach lurching, scream wanting to surge out of my gaping mouth feeling) as the door opened and standing right in front of me was a drop-dead gorgeous, approximately size two, sweet faced woman--IN MY EXACT SAME DRESS! I recoiled in fear, but my nightmare had only begun because when I whirled around to escape to the bathroom there were eight, yes, EIGHT more just like her. I had selected, out of all the gazillion dresses in the world, the exact duplicate of the “formal wear” that these young exquisite bridesmaids would be wearing down the aisle! Whispering to Rob in a guttural voice through clinched teeth with eyes darting from side to side like a caged animal ready for slaughter, “ Kmart—we must go to Kmart for another dress.” His response—“Relax, no big deal, all the men look alike in their tuxes.” The phrase, Men are from Mars…came to mind along with the vision of strangling him as he comfortingly reassured me how lucky it was to be in the wedding party as the tenth bridesmaid.

Needless to say cowering in a back corner of the reception while trying to cover up with my itty bitty shawl was a futile attempt to become invisible in a sea of pewter colored gowns—all nine of them—as I counted the minutes until this evening of fingernails screeching on a chalkboard was over.

Despite my wish that the floor would open and suck me into a big black hole to take me out of this humiliating experience, no one said a word or brought attention to my mortifying dilemma which proves that our preconceived minds can sometimes make a monumentally big deal out of nothing. Well, it was a big deal and on sleepless nights, haunts me to this day.

Oh, and the dress, you may ask?  What happened to this trashy piece of garb I abhor?  Back to the consignment shop waiting for the next black tie affair knowing that for this to happen again, the lottery jackpot would have to land in my lap—-not once but twice on a full moon with hell freezing over. 

Thanks for reading # 56 of 7777.

# 55 Again and Again and Again

The article below is from the Metastatic Breast Cancer Network website.  My never ending, won't stop until I'm heard, rants are in the parentheses.

A greater understanding of what MBC is and how it differs from early stage breast cancer is needed among patients, their families and HCPs, researchers, and the public.

• The focus on “fighting” and “beating” breast cancer has led to the creation and dominance of a breast cancer “survivor” identity, which masks the reality that women who have had early stage breast cancer can develop metastatic disease. ( Masks the reality.  This is why I rant.  Wake up researchers and the public supporting them and NIH.)
• The focus on screening and survivorship can stigmatize patients who experience a recurrence or are diagnosed at stage IV—they may be perceived to be at fault for the cancer’s progression. ("Oh, you must not have listened to the wake up call when you got the first diagnosis." Helllllooo, every woman I know who has gone through cancer once changes something in their lifestyle so do not tell us it is our fault.)
• The effects of public and professional misconceptions or lack of understanding about MBC can negatively influence decisions made by patients and their doctors regarding treatment and quality of life. (We are living breathing people who want the best care possible so give us the options.)
  
• More can be done to build the understanding of HPCs about how to discuss treatments and quality of life, including palliation with their patients. (Always more.  We are on somewhat of a timeframe so the "more" needs to be sooner rather than later.)

This is why our voices must be heard.  Stay tuned because I'm not finished yet.

Thanks for reading # 55 of 7777.

# 54 Wild Thing

 Another gem to ponder today.

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do 

with your one wild and precious life?”

 Mary Oliver

How about a wild blog entry for me?  Just a suggestion...

Thanks for reading # 54 of 7777.

# 53 December 4th

It's my half year birthday today and in celebration (every day is a celebration) of all the memorable events in history since 1951, I discovered what happened on December 4th with the help of HistoryOrb.com. Interestingly, nothing was recorded in 1950--were they gearing up for '51?  Overall, it is pretty much a sleeper of a day so if you are browsing through this before bed, zzzzzz to you.  My favorite--Matisse's Le Bateau hung upside down for 47 days in the Museum of Modern Art.

1951 - Superheated gasses roll down Mount Catarman, Philippines, killing 500 people
1952 - Killer fogs begin in London, England; "Smog" becomes a word
1954 - The first Burger King is opened in Miami, Florida, USA
1955 - Mgr Alfrink installed as Archbishop of Utrecht
1956 - 22nd Heisman Trophy Award: Paul Hornung, Notre Dame (QB)
1957 - 2 commuter trains collide in heavy fog killing 92 (St John's, England)
1958 - Dahomey (Benin), Ivory Coast become autonomous within French Community
1958 - Finnish government of Fagerholm resigns
1961 - Museum of Modern Art hangs Matisse's Le Bateau upside down for 47 days
1961 - The female contraceptive 'pill' becomes available on the National Health Service in Britain
1962 - US performs nuclear test at Nevada Test Site
1963 - Pope Paul VI closes 2nd session of 2nd Vatican Council
1964 - Beatles release "Beatles For Sale" album
1965 - "Roar of the Greasepaint" closes at Shubert NYC after 232 perfs
1965 - Gemini 7 (Borman & Lovell) launched
1966 - Sandra Haynie wins LPGA Pensacola Ladies Golf Invitational
1968 - Following a civil rights march in Dungannon, Northern Ireland, there is a violent clash between Loyalists and those who are taking part in the march
1970 - Unemployment in US increases to 5.8%
1971 - The UN Security Council calls an emergency session to consider the deteriorating situation between India and Pakistan.
1971 - McGurk's Bar bombing: the UVF explode a bomb at a Catholic-owned pub in Belfast, killing fifteen Catholic civilians and wounding seventeen others; this was the highest death toll from a single incident in Belfast during 'the Troubles'
1973 - Pioneer 10 reaches Jupiter
1974 - Dutch DC-8 charter crashes in Sri Lanka killing 191 Moslem pilgrims
1975 - 6 South Molukkans occupy Indonesian consulate in The Hague, 1 dead
1977 - Hollis Stacy/Jerry Pate wins Pepsi-Cola Mixed Team Golf Championship
1977 - Jean-Bedel Bokassa crowns himself ruler of Central African Empire
1978 - Dianne Feinstein is named SF 1st female mayor
1978 - Pioneer Venus 1 goes into orbit around Venus
1979 - Cleveland Cavaliers retire jersey # 7, Bingo Smith
1980 - 2 months after death of drummer John Bonham, Led Zeppelin breaks up
1981 - According to South Africa, Ciskei gains independence Not recognized as an independent country outside South Africa
1982 - 48th Heisman Trophy Award: Herschel Walker, Georgia (RB)
1982 - China adopts its constitution
1983 - US jet fighters strike Syrian anti-aircraft positions in Lebanon
1984 - Hezbollah militants hijack a Kuwait Airlines plane, killing four passengers.
1984 - 6th ACE Cable Awards: David Bowie: Serious Moonlight by Anthony Eaton and HBO
1985 - "Les Miserables" opens at Palace Theatre, London
1986 - NASA launches Fltsatcom-7
1986 - Neil Simon's "Broadway Bound" premieres in NYC
1987 - Karlstad skates world record 10 km (13:48.51)
1988 - Actor Gary Busey critically injured in motorcycle crash
1988 - USSR performs nuclear test at Novaya Zemlya USSR
1990 - Due to Persian Gulf crisis gas hits $1.60 per gallon price in NYC
1990 - Iraq announces it will release all 3,300 Soviet hostages
1990 - An Iraqi official reports that Iraq will withdraw if it can retain control of the Rumailah field and keep Bubiyan and Werbah islands; also says that demands that the Palestinian issue be treated separately would not be surmountable
1991 - Muslim Shites release last US hostage Terry Anderson (held 6½ years)
1991 - Pan American World Airways ceased operations
1991 - Patricia Bowman testifies that William Kennedy Smith raped her
1992 - Somali Civil War: President George H. W. Bush orders 28,000 US troops to Somalia in Northeast Africa.
1993 - Dan Jansen skates world record 500m (35.92 sec)
1993 - A truce is concluded between the government of Angola and UNITA rebels.
1994 - 83rd Davis Cup: Sweden beats Russia in Moscow (4-1)
1996 - 7th Billboard Music Awards: Alanis Morissette win
1996 - NASA's 1st Mars rover launched from Cape Canaveral
1996 - Orlando Magic tie NBA record of fewest ponts scored since inception of 24 second clock losing to Cleveland Cavalier, 84-57
1997 - "Diary of Anne Frank" opens at Music Box Theater NYC
1997 - Nizar Hamdoon warns that Iraq will not allow oil to flow during a third six-month phase of the UN's oil-for-food sale until the UN approves an aid distribution plan
1998 - The Unity Module, the second module of the International Space Station, is launched.
2005 - Tens of thousands of people in Hong Kong protest for democracy and call on the Government to allow universal and equal suffrage.
2005 - 94th Davis Cup: Croatia beats Slovak Republic in Bratislava (3-2)
2006 - An adult giant squid is caught on video by Kubodera near the Ogasawara Islands, 1,000 km (620 miles) south of Tokyo.
2011 - 100th Davis Cup: Spain beats Argentina in Seville (3-1)
2012 - 29 people are killed by a mortar attack in Bteeha, Syria
2012 - Typhoon Bopha makes landfall in the Philippines killing at least 81 people
2013 - Xavier Bettel becomes Luxenberg's first openly gay Prime Minister
2014--My added event--Cure for cancer discovered because the NIH increased funding to research with billions of dollars.  Congress and the House said, "Enough! Let's work together and find a cure."

That's all folks, thanks for reading #53 of 7777.

# 52 No Wallowing Allowed

Wallowing versus action. 

Five months ago, right after my diagnosis, a decision had to be made.  Wallow in self-pity or get up with fists flailing ready to do battle.  On the one hand, wallowing seemed easier--crying, feeling sorry for myself, indulging in unhealthy eating habits, receiving comforting words from well wishers--but was it really easier?  When reality hit I decided to say no to the self absorbed unhappiness because it could have driven me into a whimpering fetal position with an additional twenty pounds of flubber and a big loser stamp on my head.  No one wants that future.

Fortunately the depth of self destruction never sunk that low when I had an epiphany of how action was the preferable route to take on this new and unfamiliar journey of life.  Stumbling along the unknown while systematically looking for distractions, I found a way to refocus negative energy into a more positive and healthier approach. By researching and then ranting about my findings, I am beginning to feel and act like an activist.  It sure beats crying jags and moping. Now you may better understand my blogs about metastatic cancer research/money/injustice of funding/any other tangent I rally about, because it is my voice coming through loud and clear using this unique form of therapeutic energy.

Thanks, and I really mean thanks, for reading # 52 of 7777.

# 51 You Can Make a Difference

The following information was copied from the MBCN (Metastatic Breast Cancer Network).  If you wish to write a letter, obviously the beginning should read, "I am a constituent who has a friend living with metastatic (stage IV) breast cancer." This needs to be done today before the final vote.

You can help me fight this if we join our hands together and, instead of wringing them, use them to communicate the need for more funding.    

Let's make increased funding of the National Institutes of Health (NIH) budget a priority of the next Congress. 

At our recent MBCN Conference at UNC in Chapel Hill, many UNC speakers urged us to write to our Congressmen/women and Senators to restore the cuts to NIH funding over the past several years.

LET'S DO IT!   STAGE IV NEEDS MORE!

To send an email:

• Click on this link to find your Congressperson and Senators: http://www.congressmerge.com/onlinedb/ 
• Click on your state and then find your representative's name and click on it. 
• On the representative's page, you will then see CONTACT highlighted in red. Click on the link next to it and complete the information. They will usually ask for your Name, Address, Zip Code,etc. There will then be a space to copy and paste the letter which we've printed below.
• Don't forget to send a total of 3 emails: your 2 senators and your Congressman/woman.
• Sending a letter by mail is not a good idea because it goes through a long security process.

Thank you for your support in doing this!
Warmly,
Shirley A. Mertz
President, MBCN

HERE IS THE SUGGESTED WORDING TO COPY AND PASTE INTO YOUR EMAIL MESSAGE:
   

I am a constituent who is living with metastatic (stage IV) breast cancer. I ask your support and passage of a 2015 federal budget that increases funding for the National Institutes of Health to $30.36 billion--this is $211 million or .7 percent above the FY 2014 level-- as proposed by the Director of the NIH and our President. The NIH funds important biomedical research that increases basic scientific knowledge that is applied to reduce illness burden and lengthen lives.  

   

Congress' commitment to NIH funding has declined significantly since 2008. When inflation is taken into account and the costs of research are considered, the decline in funding has meant that fewer good research proposals are funded and talented young scientists leave research and seek opportunities in other professions. Congress' decrease in funding for the NIH has slowed medical advances and hurt patients.

Please show that you are committed to the people of our district and state by talking with your Congressional colleagues about the need to support the NIH Director's proposed budget and pass a budget to reflect his request.

Thanks for writing and for reading # 51

# 50 Cat Update

Sweet Senior Cat seeking temporary home for 3 months  

We will be traveling for three months (leaving mid-December) and are seeking a temporary home for our senior cat, Muffin. She is well behaved and generally keeps to herself. She loves to look out the window or catch a catnap on a blanket. She was even the Dane County Grand Champion back in the day! 

We will provide payment for food, litter, and care. 

Call, email, or text if interested! 

My response:
My friends, who are aware of my feelings for dear sweet Muffin, will be rolling on the ground laughing at this plea for clemency, but after spending the entire Thanksgiving weekend with my children and specifically, my daughter-in-law (author of this sentimental notice), they have convinced Rob that she is in need of shelter for the winter.  So, here goes with the request.  

Thanks for reading #50 of 7777.