#391 ZZzzzzzz

Rob attempting a wake up call while in combat gear.

Sleep.  It's like a four letter word to my ears except one extra letter throws it off--similar to my rotten sleep patterns.  According to the doc, I have developed an aversion to drifting off to dreamland in my big comfy bed at night.  What?  How can that be? I love cuddling under my quilt on my Tempur Pedic and wrapping my arms around the sleep fairy.  But, alas! she/he has not been available for me in the past year, and a good night's sleep is long over due. Rob can attest (note the picture)-- no sleep equals an extremely crabby me.

Relief may be around the corner in the form of a program called, "restriction therapy". I am not alone with this nasty habit of roaming the halls and this is one way to get back the night for us.

With this new therapy, bedtime is 2 AM and I must think calm, soothing thoughts to combat arousing my sleep anxiety that seem to possess me.  And then it is up at 7 AM ( adhering to the same daily wake up time) to greet the world with a smile.  Yeah, right.  Five hours of shut eye and no nap during the day.  Poor, poor Rob.

What, you may ask, does one do at this ungodly hour when no computer is allowed, only boring reading material is permitted and eating and wild carousing has all been banished.  Good grief! As I read through the brochure I latched on to the only piece of good news in this sleep deprived state-- no cleaning; as in sweeping, dusting etc. etc. etc.  Okay, I can live with that.

I'm told the therapy shouldn't last too long as I progress to adding twenty minutes a night to my bedtime but only if I manage to quickly fall asleep and then stay snoozing for ninety percent of the time. I am giving myself a week to kick this insomnia habit and embrace those elusive sleep fairies that have obviously taken up camp with Rob (Oops--crabby side is showing).

If you are a member of the insomniac club, the tidbits below may help you conquer this ridiculous  habit of staring at the walls and wanting to shoot the sheep instead of counting them.

From St. Mary's Sleep Center

1. Don't go to bed unless you are sleepy.
2.  If you are not asleep after 20 minutes, then get out of the bed.
3.  Begin rituals that help you relax right before bed.
4 Get up at the same time every morning.
5. Avoid taking naps if you can.
6. Keep a regular schedule.
7.  Do not have any caffeine after lunch.
8. Use your bed only for sleep and sex.
9. Do not have a beer, a glass of wine, or any other alcohol within six hours of your bedtime.
10. Do not go to bed hungry, but don't eat a big meal near bedtime either.
11. Avoid any tough exercise within six hours of your bedtime.
12. Avoid sleeping pills, or use them cautiously
13.  Make your bedroom quiet, dark and a little bit cool.


Good luck and good night is all I have to say.

Thanks for reading #391 of 7777.

#390 Newfound Dilemma Repeat

My group of supporters when hairless

Fav Friday and this one resonated with me because it has happened to me more often than not but now I am better prepared to approach someone conveying that I was there once. No need to get on my soap box about recurrence--hand her my website card and wish her well.  

#31 A Newfound Dilemma

Something occurred today in the gym and I'm not sure what I could have, would have or should have said.  As I was changing a woman entered the locker room with an obvious chemo hair cut.  From my hairless experience, it looked like she was past the midway point of her treatments and was feeling better by the day.  My first reaction was to engage her in conversation but was hesitant not knowing her reaction.  As I slowly continued dressing and mulling over what to say to her, a couple of scenarios played through my mind.

Me: Hey, I had one of those hairdos a couple of years ago.
Her:  Really, did you also get gum stuck in your hair and have to shave the whole thing off?

or

Me:  How are you doing?
Her: Fine, why do you ask?
Me:  I noticed your hair and wanted you to know I've been there.
Her:  You've been to Suzie's Salon?
Me: (To myself--oops, this was a scheduled, on purpose kind of haircut)

or

Me: I had breast cancer.
Her: I'm almost done with treatments.
Me: Great! I wish you well.
Her:  How are you doing now?
Me:  (And this is where I stop.  How can I tell this woman, be careful,  be very very careful because 22% of us have to go a second round.  She doesn't need to hear that from me.)

So, I say nothing to her on this day.  I can not lie and say, "You made it!  Good for you!"  because that's not always the case and I don't want to frighten her.  Cancer does what cancer does and when you have it, a day or a week doesn't go by without looking over your shoulder for the next bump in the road.  Talking with others, that feeling never ever goes away.

Maybe the next encounter, I'll "woman up" and greet her with a gentle response in my head if she asks, "How are you now?"

Thanks for reading the repeat of #31 and now relabeled # 390 of 7777.

#389 Madison Magazine--Page 22--That's Me!

Madison Magazine

Check out the November issue of Madison Magazine for an article on yours truly.  One of my favorite students is the managing editor and did a brilliant job writing about my One Woman Many Lakes campaign.  I wish I could take the credit for her masterful writing skills but she obviously comes by it naturally.

A quick add to this blog from METAvivor--They posted the magazine article yesterday on their Facebook page with the headline of:

"Congratulations Mary Gooze! You have raised over $45,000 for research with your amazing One Woman Many Lakes campaign! Read about Mary's swimming:"

Madison Magazine

Pretty doggone cool! The kudos go to Katie Vaughn and the staff of Madison Magazine for helping bring this disease to the forefront for the public's awareness to metastatic breast cancer.

Thanks for reading #389 of 7777.

#388 A Little Happy Dance

Write or email your letters!

A very happy and quick update on my latest bone scan and body check.  The Onc Doc is pleased which makes me ecstatic when he has good news for me.  The bone scan that I had been dreading and losing sleep over due to my rising tumor markers seems to have been all for naught.  No change in the old hip and no new areas of concern.

Hallelujah is all I have to say.  Three months of a reprieve before the next blast-- this is the life of a metster-- scan, hold your breath, results, breathe.  Doesn't always happen this way but for now I will grab this little piece of golden news and Shine! Shine! Shine!

Now on to our next project since swimming is on hold until the ice clears off the lakes.  Go to my website and find the "How to Help" section.  There is a letter template on exactly what you can copy and send to your senator about funding for MBC.  If you know anyone in the other states listed, share and also encourage them to write. We have discovered the senators listen to their constituents but not those from outside their state.  Someone must know someone from Tennessee or Louisiana or Alaska?

With your help we are going to bombard their offices with letters of support for the metastatic community until they hear our voices...and we will be heard.  Go to Write your letters! right now.

Thanks for writing and for reading #388 of 7777.

#387 Yep! Best Day.

These crazy kids make my day!

Help!  I need more "best day" entries for a temporary reprieve from writing this blog due to the Antarctica trip.  It doesn't need to be long--just write from your heart.

 Since having a terminal disease, a best day has to be more often than not so I look at each day and decide, "Yep, this is it-- the best one."

Without further ado, and in no particular order, my best day is when:

I get a call from all three of my kids checking in with their mama. Or a quick call from just one of them.  Hearing their voices make it a best day.

The sun is shining and my friend or the dog would love to take a walk.

It's raining and cold and miserable out and I cuddle under a blanket with a good book.

Rob makes my favorite meal--whatever it is, it's my favorite if I don't have to cook.

I'm swimming.

My energy is up and I feel like I can conquer anything.

Yogi the dog greets me with a nudge in the morning to remind me how much he loves me--or maybe he just wants breakfast.  Whatever it is, his tail wagging and dancing all the way to the kitchen makes it a best day.

A James Taylor song plays on the radio and I sing along imagining I am his back up singer. (Okay, I know I can't carry a tune, but this is MY best day.)

Mail arrives and there is a note from a friend telling me to hang in there.

A good night's sleep--enough said.

I win at Scrabble...or I lose but had a good game.

The onc doc says, "No new developments--scan remains the same--medicine seems to be working."  Yahoo!

I get out of bed, get a hug from the hubby and think, "I'm alive and kicking today"!  Makes it the best day ever.

Thanks for reading #387 of 7777.

#386 Why? Why? Why?

There is always a glimmer of hope.

Mets Monday today and this article explains what is happening in the metastatic world and why we are fighting back.  Let's stop this madness by getting on board for a cure.  Rob and I are preparing our next attack of securing funding for this disease and it involves a major letter writing campaign-- your check book is safe for now--we have another way for you to help. Go to my website and find out what you can do-- One Woman Many Lakes

Why 40,000 women a year are still dying of breast cancer.

Thanks for caring and reading # 386 of 7777.

#385 A Must Read--Really

Girlfriends

“What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though.” 

― J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

If you go to your local library or visit your favorite book store and buy Anna Quinlan's book, Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake, you will agree with the first part of  J.D. Salinger's quote and realize that as rare as it may happen, it happened after reading Ms. Quinlan's memoir.  Talk about hitting the nail on the head.

The over fifty crowd will find this book resonates volumes and will feel like she must be living in your closet or under your bed or somewhere in the neighborhood.  If you are under fifty, read it and see what we (the fifty plus audience) now realize and what we didn't understand when we were your age.  Not a criticism but reality.

One of many quotes from her book: "Ask any woman how she makes it through the day, and she may mention her calendar, her to-do lists, her babysitter. But if you push her on how she really makes it through her day, she will mention her girlfriends. Sometimes I will see a photo of an actress in an unflattering dress or a blouse too young of her or with a heavy-handed makeup job, and I mutter, 'She must not have any girlfriends.'"

Go use this day to fall back an hour --a whole hour!--and spend it with a delicious book that you will devour.  When you turn the last page, trust me, you will be completely mesmerized with her insight on life and living and wish she was your new terrific friend.

Thanks for reading #385 of 7777.